Mello's ABC's
by whitetyger123
Summary: Mello's awsome rants about words starting with each letter of the alphabet. Last chapter is up! Written by whitetyger123 and schoolgirlcheesesculpture. Got to 100 reviews! Thanks everyone! Please R&R! Extra new awesome anniversary bonus chapter!
1. Aardvarks, Alcatraz and And

Mello's ABC's!!!

"A"

Disclaimer: We don't own Mello, Near or the alphabet. If we owned the alphabet, we would put I and U together…AWWW….. No really, we don't…..we are so romantic!

Near was playing with his 100000 piece puzzle. Mello was sitting on a lazy-boy chair devouring his favorite Czechoslovakian chocolate (and yes that is spelt right!). Just as Near was almost finished, Mello finally figured out that the picture on the box was of an aardvark. Mello stood up and picked up the box to get a better look at the strange….thing…

Pausing for a second, Mello looked up and said "Aardvark!"

Near gazed up from his puzzle with a blank stare, "Bravo…"

Mello concentrated for a moment. "Who even likes aardvarks……Who ever came up with the aardvark should be shot. By the mob….that I _don't_ work for…Anyways, seriously, what's up with it? It looks like someone put a wombat, a pig and an anteater together in a blender just to see what would come out. And they got an aardvark. They didn't even know what to call it, so they called it an aardvark. With _two_ A's. That's as stupid as Aaron. Who would name their kid with a name that starts with two A's. Better yet, who would name an animal with two A's? And who would ever want one for a pet? What would even call it, Aaron the aardvark? That's almost as cruel as calling it Arthur. Naming an aardvark Aaron or even Arthur should be considered animal cruelty. Seriously, Aaron the aardvark. How stupid does that sound?" he started breathing heavily.

Near looked up at the ranting 'genius' "Are you done yet?"

Mello shouted at him "No! I'm not done yet…Who ever created aardvarks should go to Alcatraz…..But who would want to go to there anyways? If the person who created aardvarks was there, would you want to go there? And why would you want to go there anyways? It's a jail in the middle of an ocean. _In the middle of an ocean!!!_ And its not even in the middle of an ocean, it's on the _side_ of an ocean! And if it's surrounded by water, they don't even have a chance to try to escape. And if they can't escape, then geniuses like me can't figure out how to catch them. But no….they can't have them escape cause they're such bad criminals….They might go out and kill or rape someone…..No one cares about the smart people in this world that want to catch them doing it? And all my friends from mafia…that I'm not in…..would still be going in there if it was still open. Don't they care about peoples friends? And if it was such a good jail, why would they close it? Even if the rumors that people have escaped are true, why would they close the so called 'best' jail in the world?" Mello sat down and started to regain his composure.

"And...and….And!" Mello's eyes lit up "You know…for a word that we use so much it should at least have four letters…AND WHY START IT WITH A?!?! It should be like….mand…Ya, because M is cool…Mand it should rule the world because I, Mello, will rule the world!" Mello let out a long, sadistic laugh.

"I take it that you're done now….please…." Near put away the pieces of the finished puzzle and left the room.


	2. Bermuda Trinangle, Bedlams and Beans

"B"

All was calm in the Wammy house. Until…..Mello happened. Matt was calmly playing one of his many video games when out of the blue, Mello stormed into his room and flopped onto his bed.

"What's up?" Matt addressed the chocolate addicted teen.

"Nothing…" Mello started, "Except that Near should disappear…In the Bermuda Triangle, because it's stupid. Everyone thinks that it's haunted or something but really it's just the plants there that give off gasses that messes everything up. And why is it a triangle? Triangles are such a low class shape. It should be the Bermuda Octagon! Eight sides is so better then three……." He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes. "And what kind of name is Bermuda anyways? It sounds like Bermuda shorts…Or like a barracuda….But those are cool and Bermuda isn't. Do you want to know the main reason why Bermuda isn't cool? Because I've never been there!" Mello huffed and put his arms behind his head.

Matt started to chuckle under his breath. "What's wrong Matt?" Mello asked.

"It's just…." Matt started laughing loudly, "You rhymed!"

"Huh?"

"Near…..disappear…Classic..." Matt laughed for a bit more, "You're a poet and you didn't even know it!" He continued on with his untamed laughter.

"Great…another nut case. You should be sent to a bedlam!"

"What's a bedlam?" Matt asked.

"You're supposed to be a genius and you don't even know what a bedlam is? You and your mediocre vocabulary…..A bedlam is an olden insane asylum."

Matt gave him a questioning look. "Do you by any chance read a dictionary for fun?"

"Ye…..No! Who do you think I am….Near?" He rolled his eyes. "But anyways, back to bedlams, they're nut houses. Do you know who should go there? Raito, that's who, Raito keeps talking to himself like there's another person around him that knows something we don't….Maybe he's mental. We could take him there so we can see what a nut house really looks like inside. We could run into the walls and not be hurt….Because they're padded! Or would there even be any bedlams around considering it's an olden day one….and that would mean that there would be no padded walls….oh well….it's still fun to say…bedlam, bedlam bedlam bedlam. Lams are probably as soft as a bed. But even I wouldn't have thought to put the two words together……"

Matt didn't say anything, but instead his stomach gave a loud growl.

Mello heard his stomach and asked, "What's for supper tonight?"

Matt answered simply with "Beans."

"Beans? Why beans? They're stupid and they make you fart."

"What? They make you fart?"

"Haven't you ever heard the song? Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot. The more toot the better you feel so eat some beans with every meal! But why would someone eat beans with every meal if it made them fart? It's not like farting actually makes you feel better. Its not like someone could come up to you and say 'I'm sorry your mom just died' and then you fart and feel better. It just doesn't work that way. How could they have made a song about such a useless food?"

Just as Mello finished his tirade about beans, the lunch bell suddenly started ringing. Matt jumped up off his bed and yelled "YAY!!! BEANS!! I GET TO FART!!!!'


	3. Chocolate, Chile and Care Bears

"C"

Mello was sitting outside being calm for once in his short life… until he started talking to himself. "Chocolate is the best in the world, and there is so many different kinds! White chocolate, Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, nuts, rice crispies, French, Czechoslovakian, melted, German, Swiss, Chocolate Eggs, chocolate bunnies, chocolate chocolate, chocolate chips, chocolate chip cookies……I love chocolate…..If I could, I would marry chocolate… and have little chocolate kids… and if I get hungry I could just take off an ear or two. Ah…..I love chocolate. It should be one of the four food groups….Its that awesome… Once, I had chocolate from Chile…It tasted weird…like chili…Like, why would you name a country after a dish made of beans, meat and tomato sauce? It would make more sense to name a country 'Chocolate' because everyone would want to go there."

In a nearby hiding spot, Near and Matt were discussing about how Mello was talking to what seemed to be himself.

"Hm…I didn't know that he liked chocolate that much." Near stated, "He even said that he would marry it if he could."

Matt gasped at Near's statement, "What are you talking about? Haven't you ever seen his room? Its scary…..So many altars to chocolate…..he even has a statue of chocolate under his bed that he thinks no one knows about…But I do…And in his diary, he wrote that he wanted to live in a house made of chocolate…Wouldn't it melt in summer?"

"I guess….Lets listen to him again."

Mello was rocking back and forth singing "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate is my life!" He stopped singing, and then started talking again. "But you know what I don't like? Care bears. They are always so happy that I just want to shoot them. And why do they have that really stupid design on their stomach? How are they supposed to use it as a weapon? It's like they go up to you and say 'I'm going to hurt you!' and you say 'With what?' and they say 'With a beam of light that comes out of my belly. Care bear countdown!' And then they shoot you with light that is apparently supposed to knock you back into oblivion. I hate them, especially because not one of them is black. If I was a Care Bear, I would be black because black is superior. And instead of having an annoying symbol to 'protect' me I'll just carry around a bazooka gun. And if any of the low lives try to talk to me, I'll literally blow them into nothingness! MWHAHAHAHA!!! Take that!!"

Just as Mello finished, he got up and ran back inside muttering "I got to go find some black paint and my bazooka gun. Someone has to teach those Care Bears a lesson they'll never forget!"

Matt looked over to Near and whispered, "I think _he's_ the one that should go to a bedlam, not Raito." All Near did was nod. He knew where he could find a straight jacket…


	4. Doppelgangers, Drugs and Dentists

"D"

Mello, Near, and Matt were in a very hard class. So hard, in fact, that they were the only ones in the class. And the only one actually paying attention was Near. As usual. And, also as usual, Mello and Matt were talking. But, just like always, the teacher cut them off.

"Don't talk when I'm talking!" He screamed at them.

They were quiet for about a minute. Then Mello whispered to Matt, "I wish I had a doppelganger, so it could go to my classes and I could go hang out with my mob friends. Not that I'm _in _the mob, or anything….Anyways….If I had a doppelganger; I would get it to do all the sissy things that I don't like to do. Like clean my room, or do my 'mandatory' volunteering….But what would he look like? Or would it even be a he? Would it be possible for my doppelganger to be a girl? If it is, I bet she wouldn't be as sexy as I am, 'cause I'm Mello and I rule. I bet even my doppelganger would be jealous of me!"

Matt scrutinized Mello. "Maybe you _are _a girl. You could have just been tricking yourself into thinking you are a guy. Or maybe it's the random drugs that the mafia has been putting in your chocolate for the longest of times…."

"Drugs?" Mello's eyes glazed over with some far off memory. "So that's why my chocolate has tasted like ground up kitty litter and sour brussel sprouts. I thought maybe it was just that I needed more. But…drugs are bad. They make people's brains get messed up. I should give some to Near. Stupid Near. Then maybe he would jump of the roof and die so I could be the best! Stupid Near. Have I said that Near is stupid yet?"

"But, are drugs to most people like…candy to L? And if they are that means you would have to go to the …" Mello shuddered, "Dentist office. It's the white room of doom, filled to the brim with needles, drills and little toys that the freaky kids probably eat after they leave. And don't forget the toothpaste that feels like flavored sand. Also the mask that looks like they are going to cut into your mouth when you're not paying attention. Seriously, I think that dentists and doctors have some sort of weird mask wearing, people scaring cult that their main goal in life is to freak out as many people as possible. I should make a cult called the I-don't-like-dentists-or-doctors-because-their-life-goal-is-to-freak-people-out-and-Mello-should-rule-the-world-not-the-freaky-mask-wearing-dentists-and-doctors cult. And I will make everyone join! Everyone will bow down to…."

Just as Mello was about to finish his sentence, the random teacher that we don't know his name came up behind them and whispered in their ears, "I guess you two just can't stay away from detention.," as he handed them two slips of paper.

Mello grinned. "Are you up for a midnight bon fire? Because I think we finally have enough of these things…"

Matt's features had an indication of insanity. "Perfect…."


	5. Epiphanies, Egypt and Easter

"**E"**

Mello and Matt were in detention. Again. This was for the ranting Mello did last chapter. You all know the one I'm talking about. But, this detention wasn't like all the others. The reason it wasn't like all the others was because Mello got an epiphany.

'I've just had an epiphany!' He was glad that there wasn't anyone making sure they were doing their work. The guy had left about an hour ago. He said that he was sure that two of the three top students wouldn't make any trouble. Obviously he was new, or he would have known by now that the only one of the three top students that wouldn't make trouble was Near. But anyway, back to the epiphany.

'Really? Epiphany's a cool word.'

'You know, I've never really thought much about it. But now that you mention it, it _is_ a cool word. And kinda hard to pronounce. You know, for such a great word, they should make it have a really cool meaning. Maybe I could change my name to Epiphany. That would be awesome. But I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't know what it meant. They would just think it was a very cool name. But, just imagine it. You're walking down the street, and all of a sudden, "Hey Epiphany. How you doing?" Then it would be even harder to find out my real name, because you would have to track down the fact that my name used to be Mello, and then you would have to find out my real name. Not only that, but it would finally make me smarter then Near. I mean, his name is so, not smart. It's not like you think "wow, that person's smart" when they say that their name is Near. But if your name's Epiphany, then you automatically know that they're smart.'

'Right. So, what was your epiphany?' Matt wanted to get off the topic of epiphanies. It was getting boring. Just like this detention….

'Okay, well, I thought we would go to Egypt, because Egypt is hot. Very hot. I've never been there myself, but I bet that it would be so hot, you could fry an egg on the sand. I wonder if they have paved roads in Egypt. That would make it even hotter, because it would be reflecting off the black…ness. They wear such cool clothes in Egypt! But no black. Black wouldn't be good. Because it would be hotter. It would be even hotter then I am, and that's hard to achieve. I think that when I take over the world, I wont make them wear the uniforms that I'm gonna make everyone else wear. The uniforms are black. That wouldn't be good. Not at all. Black an Egypt don't mix. I wonder how many ice cream cones you would have to eat to stay cool in Egypt. Probably a lot, but then they would melt. That would suck, because you would be all sticky.'

Matt looked at Mello, and Mello remembered what he was talking about.

'But, as I was saying, we would go to Egypt for Easter, and bring the Easter Bunny, so that all the chocolate will melt and I can have the biggest chocolate fondue in the world! Moihaha! I love Easter. It's the best time of the year, because it's all centered on chocolate. Mmmmmm, I love chocolate. It's so good. And at Easter, you get all the chocolate you want. Except you have to look for it. That sucks, because you have to work for it. Why couldn't they just give it to you, and not make you look? I know why. Because they're mean.'

'But, Mello, you use that excuse for everything. Why is the cake gross? Because they're mean. Why are you late? Because they're mean. Why did you poison the chicken noodle soup? Because they're mean. Who are _they_?'

'They are the things that plague this earth.' And he left it at that.


	6. Fire, Fountain of Youth and Frankfurt

"F"

Mello and Matt were sitting outside at midnight, around their recently made campfire. Mello was sitting on a stump, watching the flames wavering around, getting completely enthralled by their movements. Matt, per usual, was so spellbound by his PSP that he didn't even notice when Mello started speaking about utter nonsense. Not that he had much sense to begin with...Poor Mello...

"You know, fire is really cool. Actually, it's hot but I think it looks cool. It's so...Red...and...Orange. I like that you can make s'mores on it. Cause s'mores have chocolate in them, and chocolate is the best, therefore making fire the best! And everyone likes fire better then water, because seriously, what is cooler to be able to say? 'I'm so cool because I can control water' or 'I'm so hot cause I can rule fire'. I should rule fire, because I am hot. But everyone that knows me knows that I'm hotter than fire. Because with a name like Mello, naturally I would be hot." Mello smirked, his eyes glowing from the light of the fire.

"But if I want to stay hot, I'll have to do something to make myself stay the same forever..." He thought for a moment, "I should find the fountain of youth...It would make me eternally young! The only problem is that no one has any idea where it is. I know! I'll just make an army of robot kids that will run around the world looking for it.." Once more Mello paused to look deep into the flames. "Know what would be better than a fountain of youth? A fountain of smart. It would be way better because a lot more people would be able to use it._ And _it would make you smart! I could finally be smarter than Near! That would be awesome because even though I am already smarter than him, people would finally notice..."

Mello glanced over to Matt to see if he was listening. Apparently to him if Matt had his face only inches from the screen and seemed totally engrossed in his game, he was listening. Needless to say, Mello continued on.

"Although, do you know what would be stupid? If you lived in Frankfurt. Seriously, Frankfurt. How stupid is that? It's like someone walked up to you and said 'Where do you live?' and you said 'Frankfurt' the first thing that would pop into their head would be 'You live in a sausage?' and they would have to be like 'No, I live in Frankfurt...you know...like the town, not the sausage...' and the other person would reply 'I still say it sounds like you live in a sausage'. It's almost as bad as saying you live in Turkey, or Chile. Except if you lived in Chocolate. Then everyone that asked you would be jealous of your coolio town."

Mello sighed and looked at his watch to see what the time was. 1:39. Time to get back inside before anyone had a heart attack seeing that they were missing...no pun intended.

"C'mon Matt, time to get back inside before we get another pile of these papers again in one night...even if it would be a record for us..." Mello face broke into his trademarked smirk.

"What? Did you say something Mello?" Matt's phizog (aka face) had a purely questioning look on.

"Yes, a lot of somethings, now let's go inside before anyone has a spaz that we aren't in our beds." Mello dragged Matt inside the building, all while Matt continued to play his game to get to the fabled 'level 8'.


	7. Gerbils, Glue, and Gnaw

"**G"**

Disclaimer: Well, I think we all know what I'm going to say. But, whatever. I'll say it for old time's sake. I don't own Deathnote.

A/N It's great that everyone loves this! There's been no flames at all! That's awesome! So, get ready for G!!!!

Everyone was exited. Wammy house was going on a trip to the zoo! Matt put away his games, Near stood up straight, and Mello was wearing a green belt that he borrowed from Matt. Yes, you heard that right, Mello was wearing _color_! They got on the bus. But they were last, so there weren't any seats together. Near had to sit beside a girl (that he _actually_ talked to!), Matt had to sit beside a _teacher_, and Mello had to sit beside Eugene, the geekiest kid there.

Eugene had a picture of a gerbil on his bag. Mello was silent for a minute, but couldn't contain it. He hadn't rambled on for almost twelve hours! 'I saw a gerbil once. It looked funny. Of course, I didn't know it was a gerbil at the time. I just thought it was a strange kind of rat. It looked strange. And then someone told me it was a gerbil, and I said 'Well, no wonder it looks strange, it's a gerbil!' Gerbils smell, too. Never get a gerbil as a pet. And if they have a wheel, it usually squeaks. It's _so_ annoying. You just want to kill the thing. I bet, if you heard it long enough, you would get sent to a bedlam.'

Eugene pushed up his thick glasses. He didn't have a clue who this boy was. Up at the front of the bus, Matt looked to the teacher. He couldn't think of a time in his life where he voluntarily talked to a teacher, and he wasn't about to ruin that record now.

'I wonder what would happen if you glued their little legs together. I love glue. I mean, you can do so many pranks with glue. You could put glue in a key hole, or glue everything to your teacher's desk, or put glue on a piece of paper and put it on someone's chair so it sticks to their buts… Ya. I love glue. It's really… sticky. And, it comes in so many different forms, like in a hot glue gun, a glue stick, and even liquid! It's amazing. Once, I saw purple glue. It was _purple_!'

Near was still talking to the girl. The only problem was, he was talking to her about math. 'And, when you times that by eleven, you get the same number you started with.'

The people behind Mello and Eugene were talking about something, and Mello noticed that one of them said 'gnaw' so, per the character of Mello, and for the purposes of this story, Mello started ranting about gnaw. 'Why would they spell it G-N-A-W? It's pointless. It's pronounced N-A-W...why not just spell it like that? I bet all the freaky English making people got together and said 'Just because everyone thinks we are nice, let's spice things up a bit. Let's call a word to describe a verb an adverb and a word to describe a noun an adjective! While we are at it, let's make the rule i before e except after c only, that only work in like five words! And just to be even more nasty let's put a G in front of NAW! That's as stupid as aardvark!'

Eugene sighed with relief when the bus pulled to a slop at the zoo. He was the first to get off, followed closely by the girl Near was sitting next to, then Matt. After a minute, when the three geniuses were reunited, they decided that it would be best if they just stayed away from other people.


	8. Hyenas, Hijack, and Hollywood

"**H"**

At the zoo, the children were free to roam around. So, Matt and Mello obviously wanted to visit the hyenas first. Near, not having any other friends, followed. When they got to the hyena cage, Mello say a great rambling opportunity.

'I wonder if hyenas really laugh all creepily like. That would be cool. I'm gonna try to make them laugh. Hey! Did, you hear the joke about when two nuns walked into a bar?' When the animal didn't respond, he took that as a no. And, by animal, I mean Matt. He was talking to the hyenas too, but mostly to Matt. 'Well, what did the nuns say when they walked into a bar?'

Matt put up his hand. When Mello didn't pick him, he started waving it in the air like a maniac. Maybe he should be sent to a bedlam….

'They said "ouch". Get it?' When Matt laughed but the hyenas didn't, he took it to mean that hyenas didn't laugh. He would have said a blond joke, but he's a blond, in body _and_ mind. 'Hyenas are stupid. They don't laugh. Al the stories we hear about them are all wrong. Maybe I could invent a chip to put into their mouth that will make it sound like they're laughing. It wouldn't be too hard, considering I'm gonna rule the world one day. I can't wait for that day, because that day will be the day when all hyenas in the world will laugh, chip or no chip. Maybe it will be a edible chip. But, all I know is, hyenas will laugh. Now, how to get the supplies to _make_ the chip?'

He thought for a moment, but was distracted by a plane flying overhead. That is when, to Matt and Nears great annoyance, Mello came up with an idea.

'I know! I'll hijack a plane! That should give me all the stuff I need to make the chip. You know, I think I'll make hijacking my hobby. Because, at the moment, I don't really have a hobby, except annoying people. And making teachers lives miserable. Yeah, I think hijacking will be a very fun hobby. Time consuming, but it would never get boring. And think of all the different things I could hijack! I once saw a movie where they hijacked a tank! It was great. I could do that. I would be the best hijacking person ever! With my black clothes, no one would ever see me, and they wouldn't be able to catch me, and I could give the extras to my mafia friends. Not that I'm _in_ the mafia or anything….'

They were walking by a postcard store when Mello found yet another thing to talk about.

'I once got a postcard from Hollywood! I would never want to live there. Yes, I might get my big movie career, and they might finally realize that black is the new pink, but there is too many people. And why would you need the big letters anyway? It's not like you're going to forget where you are. Like, who would go 'Oh, I'm lost. I don't know where I am. I could be anywhere in the U.S. Oh, wait! I see the Hollywood letters! I must be in Hollywood!' Cant you just get a map? And I don't see how they can be a tourist attraction, either. They're just letters, and, I must say, not a very imaginative font. It's just white block letters! I should go and shoot them. Then people wouldn't want to see them.'

Matt and Near were very glad when Mello fell silent, but weren't happy when they looked at their watches to see that, HIS RANTING HAD TAKEN UP THE WHOLE FIELDTRIP!


	9. Igloos, Irony and a Irish holiday

"I"

(A/N: BTW we are Canadian and proud of it! So we are in no way being racist against ourselves…. Now carry on…)

Mello made his way slowly into the living room, walking slowly towards the now roaring fire. He shakily grabbed a blanket off the floor, wrapped it around himself and sat in front of the flames.

Since Near was also sitting beside the fire making one of his Lego cities, he saw Mello's face and stated, "Your face is blue… did you know that?"

"Well duh my face is blue… I've had it stuck in the freezer for the last half an hour!"

"Why?" Near stared at him with his blank eyes.

"Because I was looking for the chocolate bar that I put up there about a month ago for safe keeping, " Mello shivered and moved closer to the fire, " I don't get it though, if ice is so cold, how do Eskimos live in it?"

"Mello, I think Eskimos live in snow….And it's called an igloo." Near started making a wall out of Lego to separate him from the soon-to-be-ranting teen.

"Ice, igloos same thing. It's still a wonder how they stay warm in a house made of something that is so cold. And then how would it be possible to have a fire to keep warm? Wouldn't it just melt the ceiling? I beat that everyone that lives in Canada lives in igloos. Because it is just so far north they would have to live in the snow."

By the time he was finished, the wall that Near was currently working on was starting to reach the half way mark.

"Don't you find it ironic that you're making a wall right in front of yourself? It's almost like you are blocking yourself from me. Anyways… Ironic is such a fun word to say. Isn't it ironic that I wasted our time on the field trip by talking a lot and a lot? Isn't it also ironic that I couldn't find my chocolate bar in the freezer and just before that I saw Matt with some chocolate on his face? Wait….." Mello looked quickly around, almost as if to see the offending red haired maniac, "Irony is so…Well, ironic. It would be funny if an organic food eater person got ran over by a healthy food truck. It would be even more ironic if I got run over by one of the trucks that deliver my chocolate! Umm…I didn't just say that ok?"

Now the multicolored wall was just about to reach over top of both of their heads. Mello started looking at the wall out of boredom. He cautiously eyed one of the green pieces of plastic.

"Know why I hate green? Because green reminds me of St. Patrick's Day. And St. Patrick's Day is the stupidest holiday of them all. First of all you don't get any chocolate. Second, you have to wear green, or all the people in the world will gang up on you and pinch you till you turn green. But I think the thing I hate most of all is the saying 'Kiss me, I'm Irish.' Like really, who cares if your Irish or not. It not like you will get kissed more just because you are Irish. I should take over St. Patrick's Day. It would be called St. Mello's Day! And then everyone in the world will have to bow down to St. Mello! And instead of wearing green, you would have to wear black because I wear black because it is superior! Everyone would come to me and give me lots and lots of chocolate! The saying wont be 'Kiss me, I'm Irish!' it will be 'Kiss Mello because he is better then us'! And if someone isn't wearing black, I'll get my mob friends to shoot them."

Now that Mello was warm and happy thinking about ruling his new world, he stood up and left leaving Near stuck in the prison of Lego he built himself into.


	10. Jinx, JellO and Jackets

"**J"**

Mello and Matt walked into the room where Near played. And, big surprise, he was there playing with a bopit. Its electronic voice rang around the room. 'Flick it, twist it, pull it, bop it.' Matt looked at him in amazement. He had never expected him to play that. When he messed up, the voice said, 'High score, two-hundred thirteen.'

Both Mello and Matt said 'Wow' at the same time. The highest it went was 250. Then, Matt said, 'Jinx! Haha, now you owe me a pop!'

Mello crossed his arms across his chest. 'I don't owe you anything! Jinx is stupid and I refuse to play such a childish game.' He hoped Matt would forget that, just last week, he had jinxed him. 'Like, what would happen if someone jinxed an orphan that had no money to bye a pop? And what if the jinxer doesn't _like_ pop? It's totally stupid and I wouldn't do it for anything. Even if I was the one to get the pop! I wouldn't take advantage of someone like that. It's just mean. Whoever came up with the idea of jinx is just as stupid as the game. I would think that you would have been more grownup then that, I mean, you _are_ third smartest in the school. And that's quite an accomplishment, considering _I'm_ only second.'

Matt looked at him, and then said, 'Well, you don't have to get me a pop. I'll settle for… jell-O. And they're free; you just have to go to the cafeteria. So, it would just be like you're a good friend and want to walk down the hall to get me jell-O.'

Mello blinked. Oh well, if he didn't do this, then Matt would have leverage over him. If word got out that he had broken the sacred rules of jinx, heads would role. So he started down the hallway, muttering to himself. 'Jell-O. I like jell-O. Maybe I'll get one for myself, too. It comes in all the different colors. Can't believe I'm going all this way to get him jell-O! This is stupid. I should have just agreed to bye him a pop. The vending machines are closer. When I rule the world, there will be jell-O everywhere. You wont have to walk this far. Jell-O is so good. It rhymes with Mello.'

He got to the cafeteria (which took _thirty whole seconds!_). He asked for two Jell-O's, and then shivered. It was always so cold in the cafeteria. You needed a jacket. But, Mello never liked wearing his jacket, because it wasn't black.

'Jackets are stupid. Like, why couldn't they just stuff black leather with feathers? But no, they couldn't do that. They have to make jackets un-cool. And they have to give me a freakin' pink and yellow jacket! Pink and yellow! Why would they even make a pink and yellow jacket? It's cruelty to the pink and yellow animals in the world! They probably had to kill five and three quarters of pink and yellow animals to make a jacket that _I'm never gonna wear!_'

By this time, he had arrived back at the play room and gave Matt his jell-O.


	11. Kangaroos, Kraft Dinner, and Kids

"**K"**

Matt woke up in the middle of the night. Stupid nightmares. If only the clowns would stop scaring him. He looked over to Mello's bed. He heard Mello mumbling.

'No, not the kangaroo! Anything but the kangaroo! Don't torture me like that! It's just too cruel. With the bouncing, and the pouch, and the tickling fur! Don't bring that thing near me, it's just too evil. I'll do it! I'll do anything you want! I'll tell you everything; just don't make me touch that creepy thing! No!!! Nooooo!!!!!! Oh, the memories! The memories! I swear, that stuffed kangaroo was trying to kill me. Kill me, I say! He tried to put me in his pouch, so he could take me away to someplace quiet, where no one would hear me scream! Get that thing away from me! Sure, go ahead, put me in a bedlam. Just get me away from that thing. Take me away!'

'So _that's_ why he screamed when we saw Winnie the Pooh.' Matt said to himself, suddenly understanding. Mello had some serious issues.

'Hey, now everything turned into… _Kraft Dinner!_ I love Kraft Dinner. It's so… orange. Much better then kangaroos. I could go in a bedlam made of Kraft Dinner. I would eat my way out. If I was a scientist, I would invent Kraft Dinner made out of chocolate. That would be so good. I would have the noodle made out of chocolate, and the cheese, will be made out of cheese. Oooo, look, I just made it! But, why is it running away? Come back, chocolate Kraft Dinner. Come back! Why can't I run after it? Come back to me, chocolate Kraft Dinner. I'll be nice to you, I promise. Oh no, there's a cliff. Ahhhh! I'm falling! Chocolate Kraft Dinner, you've led me off a cliff! I will never trust you again! Never again! You're, you're, you're, very mean! That's right! You heard me!'

Matt lost what he was saying when Mello rolled over and almost suffocated himself on his pillow. After a minute, he rolled over again so he could actually breathe. By then, his dream must have change completely.

'Yes, Mr. Potato Head, I agree completely. All kids in the world should be killed. No, Mr. Potato Head, I am not a kid. I am a tea cup, can't you see? And a tea cup is defiantly not a kid, so I am not loud and annoying. Yes, Mrs. Polar Bear, tea cups _can_ talk, but only when they aren't full with Kool-Aid. I don't understand why kids would like the stuff. It turns my insides blue. What was that, Madam Peacock? You like Kool-Aid? That must be why you are so many different colors. No, Madam Peacock, I didn't say I didn't like your colors, I just said that I didn't like kids. Especially little kids. They can chip me. Once, a nice lady tea cup was dropped by a kid, and she died. Broken into a million pieces. Poor thing. And, do you see this scar on my handle? That's from a kid. So, now do you see, Mrs. Polar Bear, why I and Mr. Potato Head don't like kids?'

Matt shook his head and got up. He suddenly wanted Kraft Dinner.


	12. L, Luck, and London

"**L"**

Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote.

Mello and Near were in the parking lot. Why, I don't know or care. They just were. After a couple minutes in the sun, Mello started seeing things.

'Hey, look! It's L's car! L is awesome. I wanna be him. He's so cool. But he looks like a monkey. He has to be the weirdest looking person in this story. His eyes are weird, and his mouth is weird, and I don't think he has eyebrows. Not to mention the way he sits. But, I guess when hardly anyone knows what you look like, it doesn't matter what you look like. Another reason I want to be him. Because then no one will know I look like a girl. It would be great. But, why does he always eat sugar? It's not like its chocolate, or anything. He eats all kinds of sugar. I wonder why he isn't fat. All he does is sit with his legs up. His metabolism must be working overtime. How long will it be until he becomes too fat to fit his legs on the chair with him?'

Near didn't care that Mello was ranting, because, knowing that this had a 95 percent chance of happening, he had planned ahead. When Mello had said 'L is awesome' Near had put in ear plugs. Good old ear plugs. They saved him.

Just then, the mirage of L's car disappeared. Good thing, too, because it was about to run over them. 'Wow that was lucky. You know, luck is good. If we didn't have luck, Romeo and Juliet would still be alive. And, they would be so annoying, I would kill them. Then they would be dead anyway. But still. Luck is good. Once, I found a lucky penny. It gave me luck for one day. But, I had to put it in my right shoe, or else it doesn't work. Except for on the third Thursday, on the eighth month if there's a full moon, at which time you have to put it in your left shoe. That's only happened to me once. Matt put it in his right shoe, and he had bad luck all day. Like, he fell flat on his face, got a scratch on his cheek because of it, and because of the scratch, the girl he asked to dance said no. But, me, I got _good_ luck. I helped a lady across the street, and she gave me three dollars, and then I went to the vending machine which gave me two pops, and then I spilt pop on my shirt, so I took it to the laundry and a girl there asked me out. A good day, and all because of the lucky penny. I think I still have that penny somewhere. Oh well, the point is, luck is good.'

Near, not hearing anything he said; just continued staring blankly ahead.

Eugene walked by. Mello pointed, and said in a singsong voice, 'I see London, I see France. I see Eugene's underpants! Why would you say London? It doesn't rhyme with anything, so why would you say it. In fact, I can't think of anything that rhymes with London. Bondon, Condon, Mondon, Fondon, Rundon, nothing! I can't think of a single thing that rhymes with London! London's stupid, anyway. Why would you want to go there, if all they drink is tea, and they ask "Do you want a spot o' tea?' They don't even bother saying the 'f' in 'of'.

Near took out one ear plug and said, 'If you're not finished, then talk to thin air, because I'm leaving.' And he left.

'Maybe I _will _talk to thin air.'


	13. Me, Myself and Mello

"M"

"You know what…Death Note is getting really annoying. You know why?" Mello started seething.

"Why?" Matt questioned.

"Because it's all about me, but I'm hardly in it! At one point, I totally disappear….For like forever! But when you do see me…I DIE!!! It's so tragic. But, you know what? I think I'm going to make a story about myself. And it's all going to be about ME! MY STORY!! ME!! MINE!! My precious." He said, petting his hand. "I mean…who cares about all the other geniuses in the story? Do they have my perfect hair? Do _they_ have my obsession with chocolate? Do _**they**_ have my black leather jacket? Do _**they**_ have my mob hook ups? Do _**THEY**_ have my unbelievable good charm? Huh, do they? Well, do they?" When he finished, he was panting like a dog with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Uhhh, I guess not." Even Matt was being creep out by his strange, self obsessed friend.

"I mean, no offence, but I'm _obviously_ the favorite. Like, who would like Near? He's so, unlikable."

"And you say _my _vocabulary is bad. At least _I_ don't make up words like unlikable. I make up words like happynicelly. Way better then unlikable."

"Well, at least I know what a bedlam is. And the reason I know what that is, is because I am the best person in the world. So much better then Near. They said that Near was smarter, but I'm determined to prove them wrong. I will catch Kira and be the hero of the world!" He stood with one foot on a big rock and his hands were on his hips.

"But, what if you don't?" Matt said, eyeing the strange rock that popped out from nowhere.

"But, I will. Don't you see? It _is_ me we're talking about. And because it's me, we'll do it _my_ way."

"Do _what_ your way?" Matt was obviously confused. But Mello didn't know why. It should have been obvious.

"Well, _everything_, of course. Duh. But, anyway, I think we'll gang up on Near. I might be able to get some mob people to help. Then, everyone will bow down to me. And I will be king of all, rule the world, have a big crown, blah blah blah, and all that jazz. And, from my throne, I will tell _everyone_ that I'm better then Near. Because I am. I know this, but no one else does, because he has everyone brainwashed into thinking that he's better. But I am the more superior! I will triumph in my ultimate goal, to be better then Near. And, when I am king, I will throw everyone who still thinks he is better into the lion pen! And they will be hungry. Very hungry. Yes, hungry. And I'll put Kira in a bedlam. That is where he should go. A dirty one. With chains. And it'll be dark all the time. I hope he's afraid of the dark."

Matt looked at Mello. "You know, I've never noticed this before, but you look like a girl. You know, with your hair, and tight fitting leather clothes, and don't forget your chocolate addiction. Yup, you look like a girl." Mello glared at him. "Not that looking like a girl is a bad thing."

"It's a good thing you said that, or else I would send you to the tigers pen too."

"I thought you said it was going to be a lion's den."

"I'll be ruler of the world. I can have both." Mello smiled. He would have all different kinds of animals. Not just tigers and lions, bears too. But not Care Bears. No, defiantly not Care Bears."

Matt glanced at his strange companion. "And you wonder why I'm your only friend."


	14. Nail polish, Near and Night lights

"N"

(A/N: Super fast update from space!!!)

Matt was currently walking outside, enjoying the few minutes of fresh air before he holed himself in his room to beat FF VII in one go. Catching sight of what looked to be a very distressed Mello, he shuffled over to his friend that was sitting under a tree. "What's wrong Mello? Can't find your chocolate?"

"No!" Mello looked up at him with a glare, "But I know you were the one that took it anyways… " he mumbled.

"What was that?" Matt questioned.

"Nothing…." He trailed off. "Anyways… My problem is that I can't find my nail polish! I could have sworn I put it here just a moment ago… And now I can't find it!!" Mello stood up and started looking around him and the tree.

"But Mello," Matt sat down, "You're a guy… And last time I checked most guys don't wear nail polish…"

Mello sat down and sighed "Matt, Matt, Matt… Why else do you think my nails are in such perfect condition? Most guys, as you put it, are too masculine to care about their appearance. But if I am to rule the world some day, it would be gross if my nails were always in a state of disrepair! Do you think that Kira doesn't care about his appearance? If I were him I would make myself look even sexier then I already am!"

"Right Mello…. Anyways… Do you have any idea who would have taken it?"

Mello thought for a moment, "It must have been Near!!!! I mean, who else would think that just by stealing my nail polish they could be better then me? And with all that white he was probably going crazy anyways so he thought he could be better then me! Near is so stupid… He should go crawl into a hole with Kira, make babies, eat them, and then starve to death!!" Mello started up his maniacal laughter. "Either that or he should have a very gruesome death including a ham; a half used torch and an oboe reed!"

Getting fed up with his so called 'friends' laughter, Matt rolled onto his side and decided to get some rest for his big escapade including him, a TV and roughly 34 hours.

"Too bad that couldn't really happen until I am the ruler of the world… Anyways, did you know that Near has a weakness? It's true! He is so scared of the dark that he has a night light! Seriously, what 'soon to be' greatest detective in the world is really scared of the dark? And why would he use a night light? It's just so… Un-L"

Mello stopped his ranting right when Matt's ungraceful snores reached his ears. Sighing, he got up and said to himself, "I guess Matt just can't appreciate the beauty of my rants…" and promptly kicked his friend in the side, giving him a warm wakeup call.


	15. Obnoxious, Obese and Obituary

"**O"**

Mello was hacking into the schools computer system. He got past another fire wall, when he finally found what he wanted. His own file, dating back to his first bit of trouble. He had been in kindergarten, dreams of world domination just starting to form in his mind. It had only been a plan to kidnap the teacher, take her to a fast moving river and throw her in. He had even given her a life raft. But, back to present-day. On his file, it had a note from his fifth-grade teacher, saying, 'Mello has a lot of potential, but he is over-confident and obnoxious.'

'Obnoxious? I am _not_ obnoxious! How can the future ruler of the world be _obnoxious?_ It's impossible! If _anyone_ is obnoxious, it's Near! He doesn't have any friends! At east _I_ have _one_ friend.' He walked back to his room, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, 'I'll show _them_ obnoxious.' When he got to his room he dug under his pillow for the dictionary that he kept there for times like these. He flipped through the pages, and came to the one he was looking for. 'Obnoxious: **1. **a) Exposed or liable to injury, evil, or harm b) liable to punishment; censurable **2.** Very unpleasant; objectionable; offensive. Ha! See, I'm not obnoxious at all! I'm not liable to injury.' He stood up to put the dictionary back under his pillow, but he hit his head on the lamp, went to cover his head with his hands, and dropped the very heavy dictionary on his foot.

Matt came in the room to see Mello holding his head with one hand, and clutching his foot with the other. He sat on the bed, nursing his injured foot. 'What happened?' Matt asked.

'This obese book fell on my foot! I hate obese things. They're so… obese. How could anyone let themselves become obese? I was on the bus one time, and this obese person came in. I thought he wouldn't be able to fit through the door, and we would have to pock a hole in him, but the hole would heal before we got enough fat out, and we would have to cut open the side of the bus, and when he got on we would tip over. Luckily he needed a different bus. It wouldn't have been fun to tip over. And we would have all drowned in the fat that would have come out of the hole anyway. That would have sucked.'

Matt put in the ear plugs Near had given him. Sweet silence.

'If that would have happened, I would have been in the obituary. You know, obituaries are stupid. It sounds like a cool, fun word, and then you find out what it really means. It's like, someone says, 'Hey, my wife's in the obituary.' Then, you don't know what it is, so you're like, 'Oh, wow, she's really lucky. She must have had a lucky penny in her shoe.' Then they would look at you all weird and think you were being disrespectful of the dead, but really you just didn't know what obituary was and though it was something fun. They should name it something like 'Paper of Death', cause then nobody would be confused.'

Mello was interrupted by Matt's loud snoring. Ya for ear plugs! They're _grrrrrrrreat_!


	16. Poltergeists, Pineapples and Pocky

"**P"**

Matt and Mello had a bet. Whoever stayed in the haunted house the longest did the others chores for a week. Mello came screaming out of the kids ride within ten minutes.

'I saw a, a, a, _poltergeist_! It was so, poltergeist-ish! It had… arms, and legs, and a creepy smile! It laughed at me. At _me_! It was horrible! So horrible. Almost as horrible as kangaroos. When I rule the world, I'm gonna banish _all_ poltergeists for _ever_! Just like kangaroos. They will be banished to Never-Never Land. Yes, they will. Just you wait and see. Wait and see.'

Matt walked up behind him. 'So, now that you ran screaming out of the _Clown Room_, can we actually go into the haunted house?'

Mello laughed a bit. 'Ya, _I_ knew it was the Clown Room, I was just testing _you._ It's not like I was actually _scared_, I was just joking. I mean, who's scared of poltergeists? They're stupid. And, it's not like they could hurt you, they can't even touch you. Haha, good joke I played on you, right? Me, scared of a poltergeist. And it wasn't even a poltergeist, it was a clown. A fake clown. You could tell it was fake, too. I had you fooled. You thought there was a real poltergeist, didn't you. Haha, I wasn't scared at all.'

'Okay, so can we go into the haunted house now?' Matt was getting bored.

'Hey,' Mello said, trying to change the subject. 'You know what's weird about pineapples? They aren't a pine, or an apple, so why do they call them pineapples? That's as stupid as putting a bed and a lam together! I mean, why would you put a bed and a lam together? Wait, I think I already ranted about bedlams…' He took a few minutes to reread B, and saw that he had, in fact, already ranted about bedlams. 'Oh well, it's still stupid. Like, 'Wow, I found something that doesn't grow on a pine and doesn't look like an apple, so I should call it a pineapple, because that makes sense.' The English language is weird. Like, And, and Bedlam, and gnaw. Very stupid. But pineapple is the most stupidest one ever. I wonder who named them. Whoever they are, they should be sent to Alcatraz with the inventor of Aardvarks.'

Matt was steering him towards the Haunted House. They paid the man and entered the house. Immediately, a cardboard ghost jumped out at them. Mello screamed. Then they went into the next room. It was filled with… pocky.

'Pocky? How is pocky scary? It's just a candy. I mean, it's not as good as chocolate, but still, it's okay tasting. L eats it all the time. Maybe it would be scary for people who are really really healthy. Like, crazy healthy. But this is a kids ride. And no self respecting kid would be crazy healthy. It would just be stupid. Weird people. They must be the people who made the Clown Room scary.'

But, Mello was once again ranting to himself, because Matt had run out of the Haunted House faster then should have been possible when he had seen all the pocky.

'Ya! I won the bet! I wonder what I'll do with the ten dollars. Maybe I'll bye some chocolate. Or, I could get some pocky and scare Matt. I guess pocky _can_ be scary.'


	17. Quintuplets, Queen of Drama and Queer

"**Q"**

L was coming to Wammy house. Mello was, as usual, very calm and collected.

"L is coming! L is coming! L is coming!" He screamed while running up and down the hall. He stopped at his door, but since the floor had just been waxed, he slid a few feet before coming to a complete stop. He went into his room, but found it empty. So, he grabbed his shoes, put them on, and ran out of the room again.

In the hallway, he saw… "L!"

"Hey Mello." Said the black-haired, sugar-addicted detective. He sighed inwardly at having to talk with this annoying teenager.

Mello was so exited, he just had to rant. "I hate quintuplets. I can hardly stand one baby, let alone five. Can you imagine, five babies? That's insane! Who would want such a thing? I would go around with my bazooka gun that I was going to use on the Carebears to get rid of them… And how could that be possible? They wouldn't have room in the mom's tummy. Mind you, if they were in her tummy wouldn't they get digested? And that's just nasty. Maybe they have some sort of hydrochloric acid proof slime or something…."

"That's nice Mello… But what does that have to do with me?" L smiled at the boy. 'I wish he would just go away…' he thought to himself.

"Hmm…. I don't know! Oh well, people always say I act like queen…. Wait, wasn't that a drama queen? I don't like it because it is implying that I am a girl, and I'm not. I wonder why they call me that…. Is it because I like to talk, or because I like to talk about things that are way off topic? Anyways, if I'm going to be the ruler of the world I will have to have a queen, because obviously I will be the king. I guess that since there are no normal girls in this story Matt could be my queen…."

"Interesting….."

"You know what else is interesting?" Mello started walking around in circles around L, making him feel like a piece of prey being sized up, "For some odd reason a whole bunch of rabid fangirls think that I'm queer. Seriously, where did they get that idea from? Just because I wear nail polish and I write in my diary every night it doesn't necessarily mean I'm queer. That and because I have an uncanny resemblance to a girl. It's not my fault that I'm too sexy to look like a man…"

Just as Mello was going around L for the umpteenth time, L desided to speak up "Mello, I now know that you hate quintuplets, being called a drama queen and queer…" he started as Mello kept on going around him, "But if you keep on going around me my resoning will drop by five percent, and we wouldn't want that…" Even with L trying to stop him, Mello kept on going around and around. Finally, L had enough "Fine!! Just watch out for now on… Cause you never know when I'm going to go Kira on your but!"

L stood up straight for the first time in his life, turned around and walked straight out the door.

Mello's bottom lip started to quiver. "But…. But… All I wanted to do is ask you if you wanted some of my chocolate…" He said, holding out the aforementioned treat. "Fine then," he said, regaining his composer, "I'll just give it to my new queen Matt…."


	18. Rapunzel, Rant and Raito

"**R"**

Matt climbed up a tree. I know, random. But there was a very good reason for it, and no, it wasn't to get away from Mello. It was because he was being chased by a dog. So was Mello. He jumped to try to get a hold of a branch, but couldn't reach.

'Come on! Help me up!'

Matt looked down at his friend. 'You know, that dog doesn't look all that vicious from up here.'

'Let me up!'

'Say the magic word!'

Mello looked back at the dog. Even though it was smaller than a cat, it had teeth. 'Fine! Please, there. Please Rapunzel, let me climb up your hair. Haha OWWWWWWW!' His laugh turned into a cry when the dog got a mouth full of Mello's leg.

'I'm not Rapunzel.' Matt pouted while helping Mello up.

Mello shook the little monster off of his leg. 'Ya, I know. And, even if you _never_ got a hair cut, you still wouldn't have hair long enough for someone to climb up. I mean, could you imagine all the split ends? Talk about rats nest. Not to mention how much it would hurt to have someone to climb up your hair. I like my hair. It has body, and it's just so silky smooth. If I was in a beauty contest with Rapunzel, I would win, because her hair is horrible. Not to mention she has horrible fashion sense.'

Near was walking under the tree. The demon dog sat down and wagged its tail. Near bent down to pet it. 'You're a good dog, yes you are.'

Mello and Matt looked to each other. They jumped off the tree and the dog instantly started growling. 'I guess he doesn't like you.' Near said, smiling. 'Ranting again, I suppose.'

'I do not rant! I looked it up. Ranting is when you talk nonstop about things that you hate or dislike. I don't _always_ rant about things I hate or dislike. Only sometimes. And I don't talk nonstop, either. I don't talk in my sleep.'

'Well,' said Matt. 'Actually, you do.'

Near started laughing.

'Well, I don't talk to myself.'

'You do that too.'

'Fine! I talk a lot. Let's all agree about that! But I don't always talk about things I hate or dislike. I talked about chocolate, and I _love_ chocolate.'

One of the students walking by looked a lot like Raito. 'He looks like Raito. Let's get him!' They all jumped on the poor guy. He was too young to be Raito, but you could never be too careful these days.

'It's not Raito. Oh well. If it _was_ Raito, we would probably all be dead now. But, he doesn't know our names. So we'd be safe. It's not like he would actually get his hands dirty and murder someone the normal way. It would be _so_ much simpler if he would just stab them or something. And he really needs to come up with more inventive ways to kill people. All he does is heart attacks. He could at least do something like they eat a poisoned frog or something. That would be weird. If I had the Deathnote, I would kill people by tripping into a piranha tank and getting eaten. It gets boring with plain old heart attacks.'

Near walked away.

'Where are you going?'

'Toy's "R" us.'

He put down the dog. Within a minute, Mello and Matt were back on the same tree.


	19. Supercali , Super heros and Shut up

"S"

Near and Mello were inside the sanctuary for kids, A.K.A. Toys "R" Us. Near has dragged Mello to come with him so that he could look for a new toy. Mello, getting increasingly bored with every passing moment, just had to find something to talk about. Just as Near hauled him (more like Mello carried him into it because he kept on whining that he actually wanted to see some stuff…needy kid) into the electronics department he saw the most particular movie. It seemed to be "Mary Poppins Greatest Adventures".

"Hey I remember that movie! Wasn't it that show were that freaky word was invented? What was it again…?" Mello stood in the classic thinking pose, dropping Near in the process "Right! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! You know what? That should be a real word. Then someone could come up to you and say 'Hey! How's things?' and you could say 'They're supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.' Or it could mean that something is really long like 'How was your day?' And then you would reply 'It was so long, you could even say it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'. This day is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Just 'cause you keep on dragging me around this prison filled with cute, cuddly, colourful things. And plus, why is almost everything here either some shade of pastel or gross primary colours? What about black?" Mello started arguing back. He started walking around the store, leaving Near on the floor to nurse his new injuries.

"All the colours are starting to mess with my head. I'm starting to see Super Hero's everywhere….." Mello shook his head experimentally. "Darn! They're still here…Any who, what person in their right mind would even like them? Their so random…and they always wear spandex. Gross. Any person that wears spandex should be stuffed in a sack and thrown into a lake, then shot by all my mafia friends…." Mello looked up at the ceiling, looking for the video camera that he knew was there, "That I told everyone that I'm _still_ not in! I think that they just have style issues because seriously, spandex and bright, primary colours went out of style right when they were created. I should make them all wear leather! How's that for fighting crime with style! But obviously none of them would be as sexy in leather as I am, because face it, no one can beat me with their looks!" Mello let out a deep, booming laugh, scaring the little kid that was looking at the Barbie's. Not even noticing, he kept on talking to himself…Again… "But their capes will have to go. I don't even think they know how hideous they are…and it could kill them. Think for a moment, what if they were flying around, and they got chewed up by a plane engine because their cape got caught? We wouldn't want the entire band of super hero's in the world to get killed…Or on the other hand… Maybe I better make them all wear capes!" Mello's sneer found its way back onto his face.

He turned back the way he came from to get away from all the pink. "Well, that would defiantly shut them up, even if shut up sounds weird. It seriously sounds like shut down. But I guess if you're told to shut up, it's kinda like shutting you down. I presume (such a big boy word!) that some people would also use it almost like their trying to get you to say more. Strange how something can mean two different things at the same time…is that like an oxymoron? Well, since its only one word I guess not…."

Mello found his through all the miscellaneous toys and caught sight of the double door. He sped off through them, leaving Near in the electronics right were he dropped him.

Near was sitting against a box full of sale items. He was waiting for Mello to come back for him, not knowing that he has just made his break at freedom. Just then, he heard a voice come from the intercom.

"The store is closing now. Thank you for coming to Toys "R" Us."

Near sighed "Great….."


	20. Tic Tac Toe, Thaw and Tin Man

"**T"**

Near and Mello were playing a very intense game of Tic Tac Toe. So far, Near had placed an X in the top right corner, Mello put an O in the bottom left corner, and Near put an X in the top left corner. Mello was just about to put an O in the middle when he saw it. He had to put an O in the top middle, or he would loose. Near quickly put an X in the remaining corner. Now, no matter what Mello did, Near would win. Mello saw his mistake.

'I don't wanna play any more. Tic Tac Toe is stupid. How could a game measure your intelligence when you only can make fife moves? It's usually a cat's game, anyway. A better game is connect-four. Same principal, longer game. And someone always wins. Unlike Tic Tac Toe. The only way to win in Tic Tac Toe is if the other person isn't paying attention. And why do we have to use X's and O's? We could use M's and m's! Because M is awesome!'

He walked by the table, 'accidentally' knocking over the Tic Tac Toe game. Matt walked in just as it was clattering to the floor. He had a popsicle in hand. 'Hey. I have to eat this before it unthaws.'

'Unthaw? It's just thaw, Matt. Unthaw would mean freeze again. Thaw means melt. Everyone says unthaw. We should unthaw Near! Then, he will need to thaw. But he won't, because he will be in the biggest freezer in the world! Then, millions of years from now, people will see him, and they will se the sign that says "Here is Near, the _second_ smartest person in the world". And when they find my body, it will say "Here is Mello, the _first_ smartest person in the world, and Ruler of the world." Then, they will look at Nears body, and be like, "We should thaw him." But it won't work, because he will be unthawed for the rest of the world!'

'You know I'm still hear, right?' Said Near from the floor.

'Umm, yes, I've known you were there the whole time, I swear. But, as I was saying, my favorite character in the Wizard of Oz has to be the Tin Man. He's so… tin…ish. And he's silver. He has the coolest hat in the world. If it was black, I would wear it. But, I guess I could incorporate some silver into my wardrobe. But black is so slimming. Even though he doesn't wear any black, he has a great singing voice. Much better then Todo. All he does is bark. But the Tin Man runs funny. I guess it's cause of all the tin. I wonder if he gets wedgies. That wouldn't be good. A tin wedgie. Ouch.'

Even with both their combined mental powers, neither Matt nor Near had any clue what went on inside Mello's mind. I don't think that's actually possible. Does he even see the connection between all his thoughts? I'm afraid that is a mystery not even L could solve.


	21. Unmanly, Umbrella and Unorganized

"**U"**

Mello had just tried, and failed, talking to two very cute girls that were his own age. As he walked away, defeated, he heard them say he was unmanly.

He stormed into his room. 'Unmanly? They said I was unmanly! Just because I want Matt to be my queen, and just because I look like a girl, and my hair is long, and I use a blow-dryer, and sometimes wear woman's clothes, and paint my nails, does _not_ mean I am unmanly! Woman's clothes are so much more comfy! How can you be unmanly when you… don't… work for the mob?'

He grabbed a chocolate and munched on it for a while. Matt walked into the room. 'Hey, Mello. Those girls out there said that you were talking to them about hairspray.'

'So what if I was! Matt, do you consider me unmanly?'

'Ye… uhhh… no, not at all.' Matt said.

'Thank you. I agree. How can I _prove_ that?' He thought for a few seconds, then a light appeared on top of his head.

'Wow, how did you do that?'

'Magic. I can do it again, look! And again, and again, and again.' There where now five light bulbs on the floor. 'Let's go outside. It's raining, so we need umbrellas. Hey, it's like that song! Ella, ella, ella.' They stepped carefully around the light bulbs. 'I like umbrellas. They keep my beautiful hair dry. But, once I opened one inside. Not good. It gave me so much bad luck. First, it broke a lamp when I opened it, then a cat jumped on my head and scratched me a lot. A bunch of other stuff happened too. It wasn't good. But my hair was dry.'

Matt didn't hear any of this, as usual, because he had ear plugs in. So, he unluckily opened his umbrella. It hit a lamp on the desk. The lamp fell, and broke into a million pieces. He opened a door to stuff it in, and the room behind the door was very unorganized. If he didn't know any better, Matt would say that this was his and Mello's room.

'Wow.' Mello was staring at the room. There was books, pants, plates, pencils, papers, something moldy, and a lot more on the floor. 'That is one unorganized room. It's more unorganized then your side of our room. How could people live like that? They're pigs! Unorganisation is a fun word to say. Kinda like Bungalow. And Falafel. And banana. It's long, too. Like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. And antidisestablishmentarianism. I think that word is unorganized. Too many letters. To confusing. Now I'm confusing myself! AHHHHH!'

Matt saw Mello's lips moving, but didn't hear a word. He walked outside while Mello continued to rant. Well, technically it wasn't a rant, as Mello pointed out a few chapters ago. Matt didn't know what a world without ear plugs would be like. It must be horrible. Of course, if they didn't have earplugs, they must not have a Mello, because anyone who met Mello would invent earplugs.

They got outside. It was dark and raining. Mello opened his umbrella ella ella. It had a very large hole in it. He frowned and talked a little. Matt couldn't hear a word. Mello went inside. Matt took out his earplugs out in time to hear Mello say, 'My other umbrella must be under my bed…'

A few minutes later, Matt heard a sound coming from his bedroom window. 'Owwwww! Stupid light bulbs!'


	22. Voodoo, Vancouver and Veal

"**V"**

Mello was holding a homemade doll in his hand. He had just finished making it. It faintly resembled a human, if you squinted your eyes and turned most of the lights off.

Mello, started mumbling to himself. 'Yes, now that I have the power of Voodoo, nothing will be able to stop me! Mwhahaha! But, first things first. I have to make Near dumber then me. I have tried to make me smarter, but that didn't work. So, now, with the power of Voodoo, I will finally be the smartest kid here. Then, I can take over the world with no distractions. Now, I just need a hair of Near's, then my doll will be complete. I will be able to control him. I love Voodoo. It will help me on my way to greatness! Not that I _need_ help, or anything…it's just that help is… helpful. Yes, helpful.'

Matt came in the room. Seeing Mello on the ground, he tried to be quiet. But he tripped on a glue stick. Mello looked around and stood up.

'How long have you been standing there?' He asked curiously.

'Ummm… I just got in.' Matt said. 'What were you talking to yourself about?'

Mello looked around. His eyes were very shifty. 'Well… I was talking about… uh… Vancouver! Yes, I was talking about Vancouver. It's a town in Canada. It has a… a… an aquarium! There are… big fish. Whales, too. Yeah, whales. And, uhhh… a science world. It's full of… science… stuff. Very sciency. And, I like it, because science rocks my socks. Yes, Vancouver is a pretty cool place. I think we should go there one day.' Shifty eyes.

Matt blinked. 'What are you hiding behind your back?'

Mello grabbed the doll tighter. 'It's nothing. It's just, uhhh… Hey! Did you ever think of veal? I mean, it's just a piece of meat, so why can't they just call it meat?' Matt tried to see behind his back. Mello turned so the doll was still hidden. 'And, really, what _is_ veal? What kind of animal is it? No one knows except people from medieval times! And, to my knowledge, no one from that time is still alive, would you agree?'

Matt jumped on Mello, but Mello dropped the doll behind his bed. Matt, seeing nothing in his hands, looked to the floor where he found a book. '_How to make your own Voodoo doll._' He read. 'You like dolls?'

'Uhhh… no, I was trying to find a book on… veal. And Vancouver. I was trying to find a book on veal made in Vancouver, because another thing Vancouver is known for is veal. Yup, they must have someone from medieval times or something, because they have the best veal. Wouldn't you agree?'

'I don't know. I've never had veal from Vancouver. I'll have to try it someday.' He was looking through the book. 'So, if you didn't mean to get a book on Voodoo, it wasn't you that wrote "Die, Near. I will take over the world with Voodoo and you are the first thing to go" on the page that says "First off, who you want to control"?'

'No, why would I put that there?' Mello asked innocently. Then he made a grab for the book, and Matt let him have it. Then Mello shooed him out of the room.

'Now, to get back to my planning…..'


	23. West, Winter and Which Witch

"**W"**

Mello was sticking a strange white haired doll with needles. He laughed evilly while doing it. He turned around and hid the doll when Near came in.

'Hey Near. Umm, I'm doing a… survey. Have you been in any pain lately?'

'No, actually I've been feeling great today. Better then usual. What are your results so far?'

Mello frowned and quickly muttered 'You are the first person I've asked. I'm trying to find out… umm… how many people in the… west… feel pain. Ya, that's it. You know, I've been wondering, how far west do you have to go until you're going east? Or would you always be going west? It confuses me a lot. I don't usually get confused. It's just not in my nature. But when I think too much I get confused so that's why I don't think too much.' He ended thoughtfully.

'That explains a lot…'

'At least I'm not as bad as Matt… He gets so caught up in his games its almost like he's hibernating… Like bears do in winter… Maybe he thinks it's all year round… Except for it's not always cold… And it's not snowing… And he's not a bear… Well I think in one of his games he was a bear… Or was that a platypus… Or an aardvark? Anyways I don't like winter… It's too cold and it's hard to eat my chocolate. And I have to wear that stupid excuse for a jacket. Seriously, pink and yellow…. No… Just no. Yellow and pink are ok, but no where near each other…. Hehehe Near…'

'I'm right here you know…'

Mello laughed 'Ya and the next thing you will tell me is that you didn't know that I was doing voodoo on you!'

'What?'

'Uh……. You are getting sleepy…. VERRYYY sleepy….'

'What does hypnosis have to do with voodoo?'

'Because…. I said so…. Anyways witch is a weird word. Aha! But the question is which witch? I mean the hehehe, wart on the nose, flying on a broomstick kind of witch. The kind of witch that gave me this random voodoo doll!'

Near scrutinized Mello 'Then why does it look almost like me if you were to squint and turn almost all the lights off?'

'Because Mr. Potato head said so… Did he visit you too?'

'You know what a bedlam is right?'

'Duh….. I _am_ the one that ranted about it before…'

'Well, I think it was time for you to be acquainted with one…'

'NO!!! Not till I'm done Z!!!!!' Mello screamed out.

'Fine…. Just make it quick… I think you've butchered the alphabet enough…' Near said as Mello walk out of the room singing a very messed up version of the alphabet or as he likes to call it, the Mellobet.


	24. Xena, Xylaphone and Xray

"**X"**

Disclaimer: Ok, since we haven't posted in a while, and some of you might have forgotten (in which case you're REALLY STUPID!), neither me nor schoolgirl-cheesesculpture own Deathnote.

Mello walked into his room. Then, the sky fell on him. Or, at least that's what it felt like to Mello. In reality, Matt had been waiting for him, and when Mello walked into the room, Matt jumped on him.

'Ahhhh! Matt, what the hell are you doing?'

Matt looked down at his feet. 'Well,' he began. 'I was just playing a video game, and it had Xena the Warrior Princess in it, and she did that to one of the guys, and I figured that if she's a princess, and I'm gonna be you're queen, then I should be able to do that too. So, I thought I would try it on the next person who came in.'

'And you never stopped to think that, since this is also _my_ room, _I_ just _might_ be the next person to walk in?'

'Well, you never know….'

'And, anyway, Xena lived a very long time ago, and the only reason she always won her fights was because the guy she was fighting was always looking at her boobs. For a warrior, she was surprisingly slutty. Considering that back then girls always wore dresses down to there feet. Of course, I guess that would be a good thing, because they couldn't shave. Ewwww, hairy legs. Gross. Good thing Xena had nice boobs, or else people might actually notice her legs. And what's with that Frisbee thing?'

His thought trail was interrupted when a paper was slipped under the door. It was yellow, and on it, it said, 'New rule! All students must play a musical instrument for the Christmas show!'

Both Matt and Mello groned. Music was not one of their strong points. 'I wonder if a gun counts.'

Matt looked at Mello. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, it _does _make a sound, and if I fired them off in a rhythm, it could be considered a song….' The look on Matt face said 'ya, if they were blind.' What blind has to do with music, I don't know. But, it made Mello shut up, anyway. Ya, Mello, shut up. _That_ lasted a whole ten seconds.

'I could play a xylophone. It's technically a musical instrument. And it's easy to play. With my great mind, I could come up with a master piece in a matter of minutes. I could be the next Picasso!' Ok, how did he get Picasso from xylophone? Mozart I could understand, but Picasso?

Matt didn't catch the Picasso thing, because he was too busy trying to find his earplugs.

'I like X-rays. Like, yes, I know the person who discovered them died because of radiation, but who cares? They're cool, and I don't care what you say. You can see people's _bones_! They don't even have to be dead! But, I don't see why they would call it X-ray. They could call it something cool, like freaky-thing-that-lets-you-see-people's-bones, or FTTLYSPB for short. But, no, they call it X-ray. That reminds me, I have to go to the dentist. Maybe I'll get a FTTLYSPB there….'


	25. Yaks, Yellow and YoYos

"Y"

Mello was tired. The only thing he wanted to do was climb into bed and fall asleep. Unfortunately, he saw once he got in his room that that would be nearly impossible. It's very hard trying to sleep when you have a buffalo in your room.

'Matt!' His roommate came in. 'Why is there a buffalo in our room?'

'There isn't.'

'What do you call _that_?'

'A yak. Defiantly not a buffalo. Really, for a genius, how can you not be able to tell the difference between the two animals?' Matt giggled. Yes, that's right, he giggled.

'Why did you just,' Mello shuddered at the thought of saying the word, 'giggle?'

'It seemed appropriate at the time.'

'When is it _ever_ appropriate?' The yak started chewing on Mello's dictionary. 'So, why is there a yak in our room?'

'How would I know?'

It was at this moment that a red headed boy walked in, closely followed but a girl with bushy hair. The boy pointed to the yak and said to the girl, 'Fred gave me a spell to turn it yellow! Want to see?'

Mello blinked. 'What are you doing in my room?!?!?! And why would you want to change him yellow anyway? That might make him mad, and then he will eat my entire dictionary!' He had just noticed the thing the yak was chewing, and now was trying unsuccessfully to pry it from the animal.

The red headed boy blinked. 'Well, I'm sorry, but your room was the only one that wasn't locked. If you don't want yaks in your room, you should lock your door.'

'You were the one who put this animal in my room?!?!?!?!' A vein appeared on Mello's temple. This was not a good sign. Usually it only shows up when someone is stealing his chocolate.

The red headed boy (who, if you didn't figure it out yet, is Ron from Harry Potter, and the girl is Hermione) took out a yo-yo and started playing with it for no apparent reason. Mello stared at it with a blank look.

'I love yo-yos. They're so fun. Can I see that for a moment?' Ron didn't give it to him, so Mello was forced to add 'Please.'

Once the yo-yo was in Mello's hand, he put it in front of the yaks face. The yak looked at it, and before Ron could protest, it had gobbled it up.

'My yo-yo! It was a magical yo-yo!'

'Magical, hey?' Mello's eyes turned to money signs, until he remembered that the yak had just eaten it. 'Dammit!'

So, he and Matt went to find another place to sleep while Ron and Hermione tried to get the yak out of the room. When they got back the next morning, it was to find that Ron, to get Mello back for the yo-yo thing, had painted their room… yellow. Poor Mello.


	26. Zebras, Zigzag and Z end

"**Z"**

Disclaimer: If you can't remember that we don't own Death Note… Then you must be mentally retarded… like Misa.

"The End"

"Oh wow… That was a great movie. I sure do like stripes, not mention zebras. They're cool… and striped." Matt said as they sauntered (we have some pretty good word skillz we pwnd j()() ) out of their science class.

Mello looked at his friend that was wearing his famous striped shirt. "Yes zebras are… interesting. It makes me wonder if their black with white stripes or white with black stripes… the wonders of the world…"

Matt looked at him blankly, "Why don't you just shave it and find out?"

"It's a proven fact that they still have stripes when you shave them… Duh. You know what their stripes remind me of? Zigzags. Zigzags are cool and its fun to say… They're all… Ziggyzaggy. Or is that Zigzaggy? Ziggyzag? And why isn't it Zagzig? Are people just that letterist? Seriously… Do they have something against the letter A? Mind you… M is much better then A… So maybe it should be Magmig. Or just Mmmmmm. Just like Mand!"

"Right… Why do I hang out with you again?"

"Because you are my faithful queen!" Mello exclaimed.

"Will you stop calling me your queen?!? People are starting to look at me funny…" Matt yelled, getting a few more strange looks from his fellow peers.

"Are you embarrassed to be my queen?"

"Yes I am… So shuddup!" Matt said sulking.

"Well it doesn't matter anyways because its almost Z end." Mello stated in a matter-of-fact way.

"Huh? What's 'Z end'?"

"You mean you don't know what Z end is?"

"Is that when you shut up?" Matt questioned.

Mello thought about it for a moment, "Well… Ya it is…"

"Good then when is it coming?"

"I dunno…" Mello started, looking up at the ceiling, "We have to wait and see when the author finishes it."

"What's an author?" Matt asked dumbly, looking up at the ceiling as well.

"The people or person that dictates our lives… Kinda like what I will do when I become king with you as my queen."

"I thought I told you not to call me that."

"Yes, but you didn't say please!"

"Please?"

"Please what?"

"Never mind… Shut up!"

Then a voice came from the sky. "Stop fighting or I will have to make this Z end!"

"Uh, Mello… Who's that?"

"It's the authoresses."

"Author whos a whata?"

"Two authors that are actually authoress but since there's two they're authoresses."

"What's an author?"

"Didn't we go over this?"

The voice spoke again, "You're fighting!!"

"No.. We're just… Discussing things in loud voices…" Mello said with shifty eyes… shifty… look they just shifted… shifty…

"No fighting!!" the voice said again.

"We're not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Nu uh!"

"Uh hu!"

"Nu uh!"

"Wait…" the voice said, "now _we're _fighting…"

"Mello… where's your hairdryer?" Matt said, totally ignoring the conversation Mello was having with the ceiling.

"In our room why?"

"My hair is wet… Why else would I need a hairdryer?"

"I don't know… Maybe to pretend like you have a gun?"

"Pfft… that's just silly" Yes… Matt did just say silly.

After a few more moments of pleasant conversation with the voices in Mello's head, he heard a boom… KA BOOM!!

"Great… Why did I decide yesterday to paint my gun like my hairdryer?"

Z END

A/N: No Matts were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.

(Real A/N: If you didn't get the hairdryer thing a ma gig, its cause in the 11th book it looks like Matt is holding a hairdryer instead of a gun…)


	27. Now I know my ABC's

**Now I know my ABC's, won't you come and play with me**

A/N: We've had fun! Now, it's the end. tear We want to leave you all with some thoughts for the road. So, hear we go!

"Hi! Matt here to teach you the MELLOBET!! Grab onto your seats and get ready for the ride of your life!"

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G, Mello made this too easy, A, D, H, D, O, C, D uhhh, P, M, O, ummm, T, M was fun, so was U, I don't know the rest of the song, but I don't care, because I can see you're underwear! HA! Mello should have done underwear for U…."

Well, that was… interesting. I think we should go now before we hurt our heads even more… See ya!

**Special thanks for everyone who stuck with us for this whole time, even the stories that weren't all that funny, lol. 31 favs and 21 alerts, and proud for every one of them! YEAH!**


	28. Extra new awesome chapter

The Aftermath

**The Aftermath**

**Disclaimer: We don't own DeathNote, but we DO own Mello's ABC's. So live with it. We also own Mello's sanity. We found it in a dark alley. He lost it a little after loosing to Near... again.**

**(A/n: Happy one year after Mello's ABC's started!)**

'So, Mello, how does that make you feel?'

The physiatrist looked through his large glasses at the blond boy who was currently lying on his couch, deep in thought.

'Well, it makes me feel... Unwanted. I felt wanted when I was ranting...' –even thought when he was ranting Matt and Near always had earplugs in- 'But now that I'm done... I don't know what I will do...'

'So are you angry at schoolgirl-cheesesculpture and whitetyger123 for not letting you rant anymore?'

'Not really... I mean... They're too awesome to... (hahah) I think it's was just that there's no more letters... So I guess I'm actually mad at the people who created the alphabet... I mean... If there were more letters that some freaky scholar in some freaky place in the world had created and only him and I knew about them, then I could I could rant about things that no one would know about, making it better than all my other rants combined. Although... Me, Myself and Mello _was_ a pretty good rant if I do say so myself... I mean, it was so perfect! It was all about me and my perfectness... How could you get better than that?'

The physiatrist inwardly sighed, "Here we go again..." and he shook his head. 'So what I am gathering is that you have an inferiority complex so you have the need to have to remind everyone how "special" you are.'

At this comment, Mello started imagining the physiatrist as Near... Which on his behalf was not a very safe choice for the older man.

'What do you mean, I have an inferiority complex?? Are you saying that I'm not better than Near?? The only reason I talk about how awesome I am is because I'm awesome!! Are you saying that I wouldn't even be able to lose my ears?? (Obligatory Loveless reference lol)'

'So you're saying that you want to lose your... Ears?' The older man looked at Mello strangely.

'Well maybe I already lost my ears, ever think of that!? Oldmanthatprobablystillhashisears'

'Ok then... So I have concluded that you are crazy and there is no help for you. That would be two thousand dollars.'

Mello started looking around the room uncomfortably, fanning himself off with his hand. 'Yeah... About the money...' Mello, being Mello decided to quickly change the subject.

'It's kinda hot in here...' Under his breath he started to sing "It's getting hot in here".'

'It's getting' hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I am, getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off.' He started to slowly unzip his vest, taking it off after he was done.

The physiatrist jumped up in alarm and quickly looked away. Mello just laughed and said, 'What? It's not like I have boobs or anything.'

The man sweatdropped and turned back around. 'Bu..bu but... I thought... You were...' he said slowly, pointing at Mello's chest. 'What?!'

'You thought I was a girl?! I'm not a girl!! If anyone is a girl, it's Near!! Near I say!! He plays with dolls for Kira's sake!!' Mello grabbed his vest and ran out of the room screaming. Needless to say, his scream was suspiciously high pitched and toned just right that if any onlookers would see him running from the aforementioned physiatrist's room, shirtless, they would have thought there was something a bit _more_ then just a regular check up going on in that room.

'My reputation has just gone down the drain,' the physiatrist said, holding his head in his hands as various other doctors looked out their doors to see the blond running thorough the building without a shirt on.

Little did he know, that just from their little 'talk', Mello had decided that it wasn't enough to rant about each letter _once_. He decided all by himself that if he wanted everyone's attention again, he was going to repeat what he did before. Thus, Mello's ABC's Squared was born.

(A/N: Look for it on schoolgirl-cheesesculpture's page!)


End file.
